In 2014, at the age of thirty-three, I found herself pregnant from an abusive boyfriend I had been in a relationship with for a long time. The kids and I broke free from the abusive relationship when he – the birth father – went to jail. But even though the kids and I Michelle were free from further abuse, I was faced with a very difficult decision now that she was pregnant again.
On February 26, 2014, I had a doctor’s appointment. It was that appointment that saved Me from walking into a Milwaukee abortion center and having an abortion. I knew I could not be a single mom to three children. Even though I was confident that I was a good mom, I was also struggling financially. I felt I could love my child just as much as I love Austin and Chloe, but that love would not be enough because of my situation. I thought a lot about abortion, even though my Catholic faith taught me otherwise on the option of abortion. I thought abortion would just make everything “go away,” and I would be able to move on as if nothing had ever happened.
I, then, researched the option of open adoption, and if that option would be a good fit for my family and I. And after having an ultrasound when I was ten weeks gestation – Seeing that her son had two arms, two legs, and a heartbeat, I realized that he was, in fact, a human being! Still scared to death, I ended up choosing the option of open adoption, having no idea what I was about to get myself into.
Today, I feel that I have the most amazing open adoption relationship with her birth son and his parents. Adoption to me means “Even though it was the hardest decision I have ever had to make, it was also the best decision for my birth son.” We have communication with my birth son’s adoptive family almost three times a week depending on everyone’s schedules.
I convey, in relation to my choice of adoption, “We became a family, not because we share the same genes, but because we share love for one another.” After placing my son in an open adoption, and having a lot of court dates because of the birth father, I went on to finish my Bachelor’s Degree in Business Management and married the love of my life at the end of 2015. I currently mentor a birth mom-focused Facebook support page and blog about my life and adoption journey.
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