Adoption · Birthmother · Freedom · Life · Photo-A-Day challenge · Reflection

​ K is for Knockdown….

     For three years, I was always knocked down by a man I thought would change, a man who I tried so hard to change, a man the just kept hurting me over and over again.  For three years, I live quietly in an abusive relationship until it came to light on that February night in 2014.  He tried to knock me down over and over after that with the adoption of our child.  He was my son’s sperm donor!

     For nine long months after B was born, he tried very hard to control my emotions, my mental state by contesting the adoption.  I had to be knocked down in a courtroom at every hearing especially at the trial to see if he assumed any parental rights and if he was unfit to be a parent.

     The worst knockdown was the day our jury was deliberating and reached a verdict.  After four long days of trial and eight hours of deliberations, the mother fucker (sorry), didn’t even have the decency to come to court to hear the verdict. This was his trial, the one he wanted, the one he challenged, all to stop an adoption he didn’t want to take place.  But was it over the child, NO – it was his way to control me, to knock me down.  As the judge read the verdict, I stared at every jury member and wept for the mirror fact I wanted them to realize only one person was here and that was me.  Thankfully, 10 out of 12 members of the jury found him unfit and he did not presume any parental rights….I won that phase, only to go into phase two of a contested adoption.

     Phase two lasted three long months and a few court dates of being knocked down but finally, he realized he was not in control and him knocking me down was not working.  He agreed to an open adoption, which killed me inside but in the end, he did not care about the child and only cared if I was in his life and under his control.

I am truly standing taller than him and overcame more than he ever will.

#LifetimeHealingAdoption #NationalAdoptionMonth #Adoption #Photoadaychallenge #Birthmom

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