Adoption · Adoption Awareness Month · Birthmother · Family · Memories · Photo-A-Day challenge

D is for Decision…..

I had 3 choices to choose from each to be weighed, each to soul search, each to consider and each to love.

My parents came to stay with me when Bryan went to jail because even though I had a restraining order, I was scared, my kids were scared and I needed my mommy and daddy.

One day while the kids were gone (Chloe and Austin did not find out I was pregnant until I was almost 4.5 months), I asked what do I do and what would you do. To have my parents support me was the best and easy feeling ever, but It was still my decision and one I had to live with for the rest of my life.

To parent: My dad said “If you decide to parent, I will go back to work and your mom will come stay with you full time”. How can I have my dad go back to work when he is retired. But it’s the parents love for their children that was shown.

To abort: My mom said ” You want to go to a clinic, we will take you”.

To adopt: Both said “To look into it further and see if it was for me”. My mom said if she had to choose, it would be adoption but said “Only you and you alone can make that decision”.

It was not until my doctors appointment did I clearly have a decision. I knew I could not be a single mom of 3 children because I was struggling as it was and had very hard times but I knew I could love this child just as much as I love Austin and Chloe. But Love is not enough. I thought a lot about abortion, even being catholic. I figured it would just make it go away and I would be done and move on like nothing ever happened. I looked into open adoption and how it would fit for my family. And then I knew, at 10 weeks, my son had 2 arm, 2 legs and a heartbeat. I made my decision as I watched the monitor crying uncontrollably. He was destined to be here and he was gift to me only for me to find his forever parents.

My decision was open adoption and my family stood by me every ounce and step I took.

#NationalAdoptionMonth #Lifetimehealing #November #Adoptionstory #PhotoADayChallenge

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