Chloe is a convert of St. Paul., which means “blooming” or “young green shoot.” Chloe is blooming into an amazing young woman. She was about to turn nine years old when I started my adoption plan and today is 12 years old. Just like Austin, I have put her through more life events than one may ever experience and it all happened by the age of eight and a half.
Chloe took B’s birth the hardest emotionally and mentally. She spent the most time with him at the hospital and held him longer than anyone else in the family. To be honest, today when I see her with babies, I think wow, I lost that opportunity to allow her to be a big sister and a good one at that. Leaving the hospital for her was the hardest and gratefully, my parents were thereafter she said her “See you Later” to B. After she returned to the room, I went to say mine. While saying mine, Chloe told my parents “I just want my baby brother to come home” but my mom and dad reassure her this was not a good-bye and that she will always have her little brother. God, I was so happy that I did not see her tears or felt her pain at that moment. But, days later I felt her pain and did not go unnoticed.
Days after being home from the hospital Chloe was afraid of me leaving the house. I literally would walk out of the house and she would be calling or texting me asking when I would be home. Seriously, I was not even out the driveway! After this happened for a week, I finally said “Baby girl, why are you afraid of me leaving the house?” and her reply made me cry and I still tear up today. She said, “I don’t want you to leave me like we left B.” My mom was there when I asked her and again thank god for that. I just simply told her “Mommy is not leaving you, I promise but one day when I am old and I might die and that is the only way I am leaving you.” After that day and from time to time even today she has these moments and I hug, kiss and tell her I will be back and I am not leaving her.
She love’s her B and love’s what open adoption means when it comes to our involvement of B and his adoptive family. Chloe now has begun to open up more to people about her little brother and how adoption has affected her life and what it exactly means. One day she is going to make a great adoption educator.
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