Austin is currently 16 years old and when I choose an adoption plan he was just about to turn 13 years old. I have put him through more life events than one may ever experience and it all happened by the age of 13. When he was 6 years old, I got divorced from his father, when he was 9 to 12.5 years old he experiences what life was like living with an addict and alcoholic and lastly, at 13 years old, he became a birth brother. WOW, I was a really shitty mother, huh? Some may say yes and some may say no but if you really knew Austin and his protection of me, the answer is no.
I remember when B was born and Austin came to the hospital to meet him. Austin was VERY mean to me but loving to his brother. Austin would tell me “Don’t hold him!” “Don’t spend time with him!” and “Don’t get attached, remember he’s not coming home!”. One may read this and go DAMN and that’s exactly how I felt that Saturday evening with him at the hospital. Needless to say, I never had him back at the hospital to say his “See you later” on Sunday. I regret that with my entire heart and I wish I could turn back time to August 31, 2014!
Since B was born Austin and I became even more bonded. He was my shoulder to cry on when I need to especially after our first FaceTime date with B. I hung up from the video and my world came crashing down on me and Austin just held me. He was my rock through the court case, was my protector after my termination of parental rights and my strength when I truly began to heal.
No one can ever take away our life events and no one can judge our events because in the end, Austin has become more loving, caring, educated and willful. I love you Austin!
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