Adoption · Birthmother · Reflection · Termination

May 29, 2015

I said my “See you later” to my Baby B and his amazing dad’s and walked out of the hospital on August 31, 2014, I was with my mom, dad and Chloe.  I remember pulling away in my dad’s car thinking this is all okay.  I did not cry; I was smiling; I was laughing; I was happy and I was content. Then my world was rocked on the 8th day, the day my baby B, birthfather (that is being nice) said he was fighting the adoption and was going to stop it.I fought from my first court date 30 days post birth October 1, 2014, a few court dates in between, a long grueling 4 day jury trial in early February 2015, the first part of the phase 2 case March 2015.  I just kept fighting and sacrificing.  Some of the fighting I had to go through alone (and still have too) and some I had love and support right by my side.

May 29, 2015, was my last fight in court. I prayed the judge did not delay it and everything would settle.  I knew it was going to be a “Crappy Crazy” day and I would feel alone on the inside like I did on the 4th day of Jury trial in February.  It was the day, I finally was able to terminate my parental rights voluntarily. On paper I will no longer be his mother and that thought hurt me inside but his one dad reassured me that it’s only a paper and I will always be Baby B’s mom and he will always be my son.

I know I am a selfless, amazing and strong person and I could have taken the easy road but I choose not too.  May 29, 2015 will affect me for the rest of my life but I have determination to influence others lives and to heal mine….

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